O white crystal shiver
O snowflake
here I find you
on this dark winter night.
follow me
O snowflake,
and I will take you home;
you can ride piggyback
on my purple purple coat.
I will admire
your cold hard beauty
before your death
(melting in the warm warm
fireplace of happy memories)
befalls you.
I'm all in, might as well stop pretendin',
There's no way to take back the words I've said.
I have nothing left to hide.
So please answer this,
Before I'm completely swept away by the tide.
Can you ever forgive me for what I did,
I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you.
I was just consumed by my greed and desire.
I'm calling, calling out your name tonight.
Saying how ashamed I am,
That I'll somehow make everything alright.
And that I'm not giving up without a fight.
I'm gonna find you and make this right.
When I finally came to my senses,
You had already raised your defenses.
If I had known I would have to sacrifice you,
For the
I sat on the other side of the table. You were physically present, but you weren't there; your eyes were empty and your voice was flat. We were sitting in the McDonald's by the park; we didn't order anything, we never did. It was a mid-January day, the joy from Christmas had worn off and now it was just cold.
Do you remember when we came here for my birthday?" I asked. "We brought a cake and everything and didn't buy a thing from the menu, they didn't even care.
You had a ghost of a smile on your face as you managed to say one word;
Yeah
I looked outside to the pitch-black night and suggested that we go home. We stepped outside and
we search for beauty,
because we believe we are not beautiful.
we search for perfection,
because we believe that we are not perfect.
we search for another,
because we believe that we are alone.
we search for ourself,
because we believe we have lost sight.
we search for truth,
because we believe truth can be blinding.
we search for belief,
because we do not know what is right.
we search for acceptance,
because we believe we are not accepted.
but you are
i don't really even know
where i'm going with this life.
my shoulder bones are broken
and the old woman who brings
me bread has died. what do you
say to that?
the car keys keep dropping to
the asphalt and my snow globe
has hit a thunderstorm.
i wear my necklaces backwards
so the children behind me can
proclaim that the lady in front
is wearing diamonds. no, i'm
wearing memories.
the pond out back has frozen
and i walked onto it with the
caution i have obtained over
the years. i waltzed in the middle
until my arms started to ache
from hugging an invisible being.
what would you say if told you
i didn't miss you, i missed
Her bedroom is white white white. Maps are plastered to
her walls, and furniture clings to the outskirts of her room for dear life.
She never goes in there, though.
There are: 147 DVD's on the shelf above her head, all of which
came with the room.
She has watched 138 out of them.
When she walks outside, all of the black thoughts in her head are
no longer lingering, no longer living inside their brain view apartment.
The pills she takes every morning have sucked them out like a good vacuum fairy.
Navigating the streets of her town, she prays she won't run into any school mates.
Trees and bushes shield her body from the strong wind
I walked along the tracks
in the sweltering summer heat,
even though taking the main street
got me home in half the time,
hoping to catch a glimpse
of you behind graffitied glass
as the train sped past.
In autumn, I scarred my arms
climbing the gold-leaf trees
you stopped under. I would freeze
between the boughs, watch as
sunlight filtered through honey clouds
to tattoo shadows on
your skin, then dissolve in the breeze.
When frost fell from the stars,
I stood between graves to observe
red candles sway and swerve
behind the drapes of darkness.
I wonder if you too
waited in the snow until it
made your heart numb.
Now amongs
Always by my side
For countless years
"My grandpa passed away"
you sat in the back of the Church
silently giving your support
I could tell you were uncomfortable
But you sat there anyways
"I'm gay"
you smiled and said you knew
you knew I was
you knew what I was going though
we practiced how I would tell my parents
role playing for hours
"I'm pregnant"
you let me cry on your shoulder
we weighed the options
you drove me to the clinic
holding my hand til you took me home
"I can't do this anymore"
you let me talk
you talked me down from the ledge
took my pills, anything sharp
you made me realize life is worth it
"That's
He is not an Edward.
He doesn't stare at me every minute he is with me.
Or smell my hair and watch me sleep.
Won't follow me, like a lost puppy,
Sometimes, he'll even walk away.
He doesn't love me for my faults,
It's in spite of them.
He'll notice pretty girls, even think of
past lovers
When he laughs at me, it's because I'm silly,
Not cute
Or Perfect.
The thought of me getting hurt does not bring tears to his eyes.
He would not die if I died,
He is not an Edward.
And I am not a Bella.
We are real.
Our love is real.
And that,
Is more important, and genuine
Than idealistic, impossible fantasies.
Screw Edward.